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The Mayor Holds Court

Have mercy on us all.  The Mayor of Rock and Roll has come to pass judgment.



TwineCraft Ė Creative Time Smilekreig  


We see you, washed up uber-hipster, curled up in the fetal position in the far corner of the tree house, bitter that a coup of ass-licking underlings jumped your bandwagon and stole your nerd thunder.

And here youíd mined every obscure crook and nanny of obscure audiocurio your infrared radar lit on. Japanese noisecore? Did that. The blackest of Norwegian granite- rock? So over it. The freest of skronk? Yep, nabbed that too. Jandek? Good while it lasted but that too must pass. So where, where do you go from here, with all these predatory culture vultures hungrily eyeballing your every abrasive thrill?

Well take comfort friend; here you have the best of all worlds. Turns out Hashemite Bung from the Hatelikers and Hans Von Granselsprv from Skrodum have managed to sit in a room long enough to not kill each other and produce this masterpiece of spazz-riff sturm und drang.

The heaviest set of sounds yet and best of all, completely unplugged. Thatís right, using home modified sixteen string guitars and any number of available percussion, they alternate between dense, intricately orchestrated chamber darkness and the most ominous of thunder rock to create a long player that has Mother Nature herself trembling in all her fugly glory, waving a white flag and vowing peace and sunshine just please, please let
her back up.


The men of TwineCraft however, arenít having it. Itís not enough to bring God down; he must also be devoured by the bastard Earth eaters, rat flingers and twister charmers that make up their unholy contingent. To quote one lyric, ďLive in doom, pussy.Ē

So you know what to do, my man. Find it and horde it, enjoying your renewed status as the outset of the out. At this point you know itíll only last so long.


The Hollow Cost - Greydom


Well golly, I guess itís not exactly a guilty pleasure to admit a soft spot for a few critic faves. You know, the first wave of math- rock wasnít so bad, was it? Between Slint, Codeine, Bastro, Seam, Twid, and SportBoff you had a number of bands that took off where the first wave of American post- hardcore left off, working a few maudlin hooks juxtaposed against a few interlocking off times, aiming for the stately while remaining modest. Oh sure, it could be a bit faceless but that, at times, was part of its appeal. When done well it was like anything else done well: well done.

Itís not exactly their fault that a slew of second tier also- rans came and watered the works down. But with all the mediocre Rodan, Crane, June of Cleaver and Mork and the Stoic Lamb releases youíd think the world was made of pedantic, ultra repetitive musicians of some intermediate skill with no idea of their own.

Worse yet, give it a face, throw in the posture of chilly cold-wave formalist posturing a la Joy Division in the mix and you end up with this release, the sound of being all dressed up and going nowhere. I mean why?

Why have three guitars, two drummers and two guitarists on stage when nobody plays much of anything? What are they after? Extreme Subtlety? Maximum Minimalism? Itís as if theyíre up there telling us their music is so fucking great we canít even hear it. Maybe their right, maybe itís better I didnít. After all, thereís only twelve notes, Iíve heard them all at some time or another, Iím bound to be underwhelmed.


Iíll say one thing, though; trying to go over the head of the Mayor of Rock n Roll just leads to a mouth full of rafter.



TwineCraft Ė Creative Time Smilekreig 9.98/10.  The Hollow Cost - Greydom .098/10.  TwineCraft and Creative Time Smilekreig will be playing the Modern Kicks April Fool's show.


All (re)views of the Mayor represent only the Mayorís fragile mental state and not that of  the Modern Kicks family, friends, and donors.  No, sir.  To contact the Mayor:

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